Over-Attachment - Part 1 : Lover

What happens if I am over-attached to my Lover (Bf/Gf) ??? Why do my lover ignore me? Is this really love? Why does a lover cheat me? What do i do after breakup.. If these are the questions in your mind. Read below to know the answers. You might not get a straight solution but this article has the answer to all these questions....

Generally when you love someone, there are chance that it could be just an infatuation. Love and infatuation are both intense emotions that one feel for another person however often confused by many people. First things you need to know is, there is a big difference between Infatuation and Love. Knowing the difference itself would save you from a lot of relationship issues. Reading this article might breakup things but life is always positive if we live by the truth (Love) and not a illusion (infatuation)

Let me tell you the difference with examples :
- Infatuation is physical attachment and Love is Emotional. For example : Just imagine if your lover meets with an accident and got his/her face badly damaged..Would you still love him the same way? If Yes, it’s love. If no, It is infatuation.

- Infatuation weakens and Love strengthen by time and separation. For example : Due to some reason, your lover has to go out of town for two years for further studies, how do you feel? Would you be happy for him or would you be angry. If you are happy, it is love, if you are anger then it’s infatuation.

- Infatuation is controlled by mind but love is controlled by heart. Close your eyes and think where do you place your lover, is he/she in your mind or heart? Do you think about him/her or do you feel about him/her.

- Infatuation makes you mentally weak and Love makes you strong. For example : After you both came into a relationship, do you have a peace of mind or are you stressed?

- Infatuation is temporary relationship, finding a reason to breakup after sometime….Love is forever, finding every reason to be together

- Infatuation, you only have time for the lover and if it is Love, you have a balanced time for every other relationship, which is also understood by your lover. Example : if a lover asked you to spend the whole day with you and forgetting your parents then it is infatuation.
I can give many more example and would summarise this in one example : If majority of the people tells that you have become a better person because of you lover… then it’s love..if not it is infatuation 😊

If you have these feelings, it’s Infatuation : Urgency, Intensity, Selfishness, Physical desire, Anxiety, Takes Higher Risk etc…

If you you have these Feeling, it is Love : Faithfulness, Loyalty, Confidence, Sacrifices for another. Settling difference. compromise so that either both win etc…

Based on the above you will know if it’s Infatuation or Love. If it’s infatuation get out of it or else it is only going to hurt you at the end. Don't just suddenly get out, make the other person understand the situation and talk to them until they understand.. It might take time however only then that relationship with have a positive ending..

Now lets talk about Positivity, When you are over attached to a lover, they will start draining your energy. In any relationship there is a transfer of energy which could either generate positivity or negativity. Think about your relationship?? Which energy is it generating? For example : You are really good at your studies but then after you get into a relationship then your studies get affected and you get lower marks.. What is happening here.. you are getting a negative result with this relationship? On the other hand with a relationship you start doing well in your studies? It’s positive. Over-attachment to any relationship will have a negative effect and what you have to learn is to balance each relationship in life and start focusing on each relationship in your life. Give time for each relationship and work on it.

If a relationship breaks at the end, it is very obvious it in infatuation. Remember one thing, Everything happens for a reason for you to learn from it. Some people can only be in your life for sometime and when time comes they will have to leave. So learn from it by first forgiving the person and be thankful in your mind for giving you that experience. It is not easy to do so but it is possible if you learn to forgive first. It’s only when you forgive, you can learn from that experience. I understand and It will take time. Let me tell you a secret about forgiveness. When you meet that person next time, you see them with a very positive mind that everything has happened for the good and was a learning experience for both, then you have forgiven that person 100%.

Now you will ask me why this all happens and why do people come into a relationship? Every relationship happens in life for a reason, which is unknown to us but if happens there is something for us to learn from it. Life gives you an experience and if you don't learn from it, it keep giving the same lesson again and again until you understand it. It’s that simple, you will keep getting infatuated relationship until you learn that it’s no good for you 😊

This became a long article than expected and let me know if it helped or not…

Also let me know which relationship I should write about next?

Live a Positive Life - Deek Parassini
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