Friends, Friends, Friends!!!! It’s a relationship that we think is forever, a relationship which we stand by and fight for and a relationship which we think that makes us complete. But the question I have for you… Is it creating a positive impact or a negative impact in your life???? I know you might be thinking what I am talking about and reading this article might clear that doubt.
How I see friendship is a mutually benefiting positive relationship between two or more people. However, a person should come out of it, if he / she has a negative influence or doesn't benefit from that relationship. I know this might sound crazy so I will explain with an example. Two students joined in a new college and they get assigned as roommates, here it is a mutual benefit for both to become friends and support each other during their stay in the room. One year later, one of the friends gets into smoking and always asks the other friend to try it? So should the other friend go for it since they have spent one year together or cut-off that relationship? I know it is difficult but what would be the best?? Think about it!!!! Now if you are over-attached you will surely go for it because you don't want your friend to feel bad but then have you ever thought how bad is it for you???
Now some say that friends are forever, there is a problem with that, if you keep your friends forever, your growth tends to get limited to that group only. if you need to change you have to change that group. Is your friends same in your 1st grade, your 10 grade, your college, they keep changing but the problem is during that change you tend to get over-attached to certain set of friends that could make or break your life. Over-attachment to friends tends to balance each others positive and negative energy. Let me tell you the formula for Friendship with People
Let P = Positive Living Person (Growth)
Let N = Negative Living Person (Decline)
1 N + 3 P = 4 P
2 N + 2 P = 0
3 N +1 P = 4 N
So first find if your a N or P and join the group accordingly. For example, if a newly married boy hangs around with group of friends who are divorced as time passes that boy will end up his relationship in a divorce. On the other hand, if a divorced girl hangs around with friends who are happily married as time passes she will get married and will be living a happy married life. Because they balance out the energies. The majority will influence the minds of the minority and when their thought process begins to changes, their life begins to change. Have to noticed that generally studious children forms their own group, similar children who are interested in sports forms their own group etc.. Why is that because they add up their concentrated energy to bring positive results to their lives. Life is really easy but we make it difficult due to our over-attachment to the group which is not right for us
Any friends who make fun of your beliefs, your culture, your religion, your relationships, your parents etc.. You should watch out!!! Any friends who accept the way you are and adjust their life considering your situation is good. For example, a vegetarian girl goes to a new college and finds a group to join and the friends make fun of her or puts meat into her food, is that really a friendship?? I know most of you would tell that we are just doing for fun? But is that friendship?? On the other hand how about a group, which makes sure that when a restaurant is selected there is enough option for the vegetarian friend to eat. Same goes the other way round… a non-veg friend in a group of veg friends.
Now when you are over-attached to a friend that would sometime make you want to pull your friend to your level of positivity by solving their problems and that the biggest problem in any friendship. What people don't understand is the if a person is not willing to change you cant do anything about it, so either the friends pull the friend down to her level, which happens in most of case or the friendship brakes. For example… Think you are standing on the chair and your friend standing on the ground holding your hands… now you try to pull her up and she try to pull you down.. who is going to win? Think about it..
Over attachment to friends make you blindly believe what they say without doing a self check and that has to change because at the end, you are two different individuals. For example, A girl had a best friend and both were studying for their Bachelor degree course. The girl asked her friend to go check with the senior on how they scored for the final exams, her friend checked and told her if it’s 5 marks just write 5 points and you will get good marks. Later she just bumped in to same senior and asked the same question and the senior said if it’s 5 marks you have to write 10 points… So is this friendship? What would happen to that friend on a long run? Are you still keeping this type of friends?
So many children who selected a course or college just because their friends are going for it. Seriously people should start to think what they really want to be and not what the group wants you to be. Choose your friends wisely as your friends influence your life to either negatively or positively. Being with good friends will make you Good.
If you are “inside” (Over-attached) the group of friends you will never understand what i am trying to say… So get “outside” and start seeing your group from a third person’s point of view.. Then you will start seeing the real pictures of your friendship and you will know is it really good for you or not. If it is not good start searching for good friends because. Treasures are always kept for the searchers😊
Live a positive life by with Positive Friends
Part 1 - Over attachment to Lover
Part 2 - Over attachment to Friends
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